batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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