i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
