Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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