its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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