guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
