I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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