Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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