Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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