why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
