My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
