If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
