Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
