Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
