community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
