this just has baby written all over it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
