she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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