so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
