yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
