Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
