Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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