He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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