and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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