it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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