I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize