This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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