What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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