hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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