i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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