He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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