People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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