at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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