belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
