How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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