some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
