after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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