if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on