My brain says no but my pants say off.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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