ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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