Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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  (401): I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting http://tfl.nu/c988
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm scared

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

  (972): View more from Texas

  That's what I'm afraid of

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  (972): I'm scared (337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size. (972): That's what I'm afraid of http://tfl.nu/7af7
  Replies (16) Good night (859) Bad night (3915)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced

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  (419): watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced http://tfl.nu/2xlb
  Replies (35) Good night (936) Bad night (3295)
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  (925): View more from California

  no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

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  (925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes. http://tfl.nu/3pwk
  Replies (13) Good night (5768) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.

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  (908): Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event. http://tfl.nu/eg4k
  Replies (22) Good night (8889) Bad night (992)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..

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  (608): Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me.. http://tfl.nu/thrx
  Replies (23) Good night (1745) Bad night (4844)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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  (703): I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues http://tfl.nu/075m
  Replies (7) Good night (2185) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.

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  (724): His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/q67j
  Replies (8) Good night (4130) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.

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  (219): Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking. http://tfl.nu/w53z
  Replies (11) Good night (600) Bad night (1778)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.

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  (906): I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night. http://tfl.nu/lw8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

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  (251): Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk. http://tfl.nu/ul5p
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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  (970): Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/kc9w
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

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  (+44): Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout... http://tfl.nu/yqu4
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.

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  (203): I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks. http://tfl.nu/7lnz
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there

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  (724): I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there http://tfl.nu/ouz3
  Replies (7) Good night (389) Bad night (547)

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