Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.