I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.