Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
