You work out of a Hotel?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?