And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.