I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.