Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

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(773): View more from Illinois

our cab driver is having phone sex.

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(773): our cab driver is having phone sex. http://tfl.nu/18ax

Replies (18) Good night (5337) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

(1-404): View more from Georgia

no.

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(404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

(617): View more from Massachusetts

wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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(860): he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape (617): wtf, did you fuck a retard?! http://tfl.nu/q1iv

Replies (11) Good night (772) Bad night (4038)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.

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(715): i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign. http://tfl.nu/r2le

Replies (15) Good night (5071) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(630): You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking". http://tfl.nu/tuao

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(785): View more from Kansas

Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

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(785): Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both. http://tfl.nu/00se

Replies (11) Good night (930) Bad night (3687) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience

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(978): Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience http://tfl.nu/snc8

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(419): View more from Ohio

The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

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(419): The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child. http://tfl.nu/ltf5

Replies (17) Good night (691) Bad night (2261)
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(213): View more from California

holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow

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(213): holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow http://tfl.nu/whvj

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(864): View more from South Carolina

How bad is the voicemail?

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.

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(864): How bad is the voicemail? (1-864): You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/kbpy

Replies (30) Good night (839) Bad night (2366) Order T-Shirt
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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(228): Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me. http://tfl.nu/qpkp

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

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(843): I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted http://tfl.nu/7fyh

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life

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(228): I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life http://tfl.nu/miua

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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(479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph

Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt

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