I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
