The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
