Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
