Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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