I think I can smell my own vagina right now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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