Tell her she can't have a vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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