His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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