I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She's not a foreskin expert like you
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
