it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Floor bacon is actually really good
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
