Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
