I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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