I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
