those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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