I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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