She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
