Christians are straight up FREAKS
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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