I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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