Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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