the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize