you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
