Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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