My brain says no but my pants say off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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