Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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