I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize