she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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