I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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