She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
