My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
