Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
