I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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